Why did the Safety Advisor ignore a pile of LSD on the floor?
He felt it was a tripping hazard....
H&S Christmas jokes
Moderator: Moderators
-
Alexis
- Official HSfB Legend
- Posts: 48865
- Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2004 10:52 am
- 20
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/AlexisHSfB
- Location: West Lothian
- Has thanked: 2863 times
- Been thanked: 340 times
- Contact:
Re: H&S Christmas jokes
Oh! Dear! You two.
Why did the Safety Advisor ignore a pile of LSD on the floor?
He felt it was a tripping hazard....
Why did the Safety Advisor ignore a pile of LSD on the floor?
He felt it was a tripping hazard....
"A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle."
Hundreds of FREE Health & Safety Downloads Here
Hundreds of FREE Health & Safety Downloads Here
-
TWDB
- Snr Member
- Posts: 391
- Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2013 3:24 pm
- 11
- Industry Sector: Civil Eng, HV Elec, Remediation Soil/Wat
- Occupation: SHEQ Manager
- Location: UK WIDE
- Has thanked: 177 times
- Been thanked: 29 times
Re: H&S Christmas jokes
Guys its an oldie but a goodie ( this message that is )!! i'm looking for a few H&S or ENV/Quality related Jokes!
any new and good / awful ones you guys can share?
Thanks T
any new and good / awful ones you guys can share?
Thanks T
Update: taken a new job 
hopefully confidence and positivity will return with new challenge - scary though leaving current place after 16 years (6 years H&S !) 
(previous signature: was motivated once ..................... searching to get it back !
)
hopefully confidence and positivity will return with new challenge - scary though leaving current place after 16 years (6 years H&S !) (previous signature: was motivated once ..................... searching to get it back !
)-
wendolene26
- HSfB Moderator
- Posts: 2442
- Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2012 10:46 pm
- 12
- Industry Sector: Oil and Gas / Renewables / Consultancy
- Location: Aberdeen
- Has thanked: 13 times
- Been thanked: 107 times
Re: H&S Christmas jokes
In my attempt to assist with your quest for H&S or Env/Quality related jokes as I have none such gems between my ears, I'd thought I'd trawl the tinterweb. What was the first hit in my search....yup - this post!!! ha ha
You are only a millimetre or a millisecond away from the next incident.
-
TWDB
- Snr Member
- Posts: 391
- Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2013 3:24 pm
- 11
- Industry Sector: Civil Eng, HV Elec, Remediation Soil/Wat
- Occupation: SHEQ Manager
- Location: UK WIDE
- Has thanked: 177 times
- Been thanked: 29 times
Re: H&S Christmas jokes
awful but found this
My workplace gave to me:
A day home safe with family.
On the second day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the third day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Eight safe work procedures,
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Nine supplier labels,
Eight safe work procedures,
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Ten observations,
Nine supplier labels,
Eight safe work procedures,
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Eleven committee minutes,
Ten observations,
Nine supplier labels,
Eight safe work procedures,
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Twelve inspection checklists,
Eleven committee minutes,
Ten observations,
Nine supplier labels,
Eight safe work procedures,
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
My workplace gave to me:
A day home safe with family.
On the second day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the third day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Eight safe work procedures,
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Nine supplier labels,
Eight safe work procedures,
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Ten observations,
Nine supplier labels,
Eight safe work procedures,
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Eleven committee minutes,
Ten observations,
Nine supplier labels,
Eight safe work procedures,
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Twelve inspection checklists,
Eleven committee minutes,
Ten observations,
Nine supplier labels,
Eight safe work procedures,
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
Update: taken a new job hopefully confidence and positivity will return with new challenge - scary though leaving current place after 16 years (6 years H&S !)
(previous signature: was motivated once ..................... searching to get it back !)
hopefully confidence and positivity will return with new challenge - scary though leaving current place after 16 years (6 years H&S !) (previous signature: was motivated once ..................... searching to get it back !
)-
Alexis
- Official HSfB Legend
- Posts: 48865
- Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2004 10:52 am
- 20
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/AlexisHSfB
- Location: West Lothian
- Has thanked: 2863 times
- Been thanked: 340 times
- Contact:
Re: H&S Christmas jokes
Oh the pain TW!! 
Everyone loves a trier!
Everyone loves a trier!
"A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle."
Hundreds of FREE Health & Safety Downloads Here
Hundreds of FREE Health & Safety Downloads Here
-
Blackstone
- Grand Shidoshi
- Posts: 1340
- Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2011 11:17 am
- 13
- Industry Sector: Refrige / Oil & Gas / Pharma / Aerospace
- Occupation: Deputy SHE Manager
- Location: Kent
- Has thanked: 50 times
- Been thanked: 201 times
Re: H&S Christmas jokes
Haha love this TW, Just sung it to the colleagues in the office!TWDB wrote: ↑Tue Dec 19, 2023 11:35 am awful but found this
My workplace gave to me:
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My workplace gave to me:
Twelve inspection checklists,
Eleven committee minutes,
Ten observations,
Nine supplier labels,
Eight safe work procedures,
Seven stretching programs,
Six fire extinguishers,
Five hazard cards!
Four first aid kits,
Three safety vests,
Two hearing plugs,
and a day home safe with family.
'Train people well enough so they can leave, treat them well enough that they don't want to!' - Richard Branson
