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Humerous Phrases...

Post your humorous risk assessments, health and safety jokes or funny stories of health and safety goings on in your part of the country. KEEP IT CLEAN PLEASE!

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MrsMuppet
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Humerous Phrases...

Post by MrsMuppet »

I am not a fan of buzz words/phrases like "think outside the box" - they just make me cringe....

However, going through a training session with the boss woman and at the end she says - "comply or die!" needless to say it made me chuckle!

Any one else have some funny phrases on the SHE front that I can add to my brain file :)
Never eat more than you can lift - Miss Piggy
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by WillPool »

Plenty from my army days but not all suitable for this forum ;)

An old sergeant major used to say if anyone complained, "we deal in warfare laddie not welfare"

I dont want it done now, I want it done RIGHT NOW

KISS (Keep it simple stupid)

I will come back with more when I have a bit more time ;)

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MrsMuppet
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by MrsMuppet »

I love the KISS hehe
Never eat more than you can lift - Miss Piggy
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by AdyShaw »

Like Will says, plenty from army days.....but delicate ears and all that

always the 6 P's though (7 in the army)

Prior Planning & Preparation Prevents Poor Performance

Fail to Plan - Plan to Fail
Last edited by WillPool on Wed Aug 24, 2016 11:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Had to remove THAT word.
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by abarnett »

"Silence is compliance" - very handy maxim for meetings.... :D
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by jonsi »

"Silence is Golden ... but during an Audit it can be priceless"
"always tell the Regulator the Truth ...just don't tell them everything"
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NGC
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by NGC »

Some blue sky thinking for you... Team work makes the dream work.

One infuriating corporate phrase (not strictly hs) is "lets talk about it offline" grrr
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by MrsMuppet »

NGC wrote:Some blue sky thinking for you... Team work makes the dream work.
I like that one!
abarnett wrote:"Silence is compliance"
I need to use this!! one old manager of mine had a red and yellow card system in meetings, he'd hold them up if you got side-tracked - very rude and infuriating :angryfire:
Never eat more than you can lift - Miss Piggy
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by abarnett »

There's no "i" in team.

There are, however, 5 in "individual brilliance"

8)
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by MrsMuppet »

I also like ASSUME makes an ass out of U and ME :D
Never eat more than you can lift - Miss Piggy
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by abarnett »

on the acronym front there's always Poets day for as a euphemism for Fridays...

Poddle off early, tomorrow's Saturday.... (others may know a non forum-friendly version... :shock: )

also, just remember, the person complaining most about your organisation's IT system may have a PICNIC error. (Problem In Chair, Not In Computer)
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by Extankman »

My personal favourite for a lot of things work related is -

"Only dead fish go with the flow!"

Suits loads of situations :)
Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid
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