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Humerous Phrases...

Post your humorous risk assessments, health and safety jokes or funny stories of health and safety goings on in your part of the country. KEEP IT CLEAN PLEASE!

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NGC
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by NGC » Thu Aug 25, 2016 11:41 pm

MrsMuppet wrote:
I need to use this!! one old manager of mine had a red and yellow card system in meetings, he'd hold them up if you got side-tracked - very rude and infuriating :angryfire:
I like it lol, could do with this for some of my meetings. :lol:
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by Blackstone » Mon Sep 05, 2016 8:46 am

I always remember our old QA saying referring to PDI checks and finding issues.

We used to refer to it as like "shooting fish in a barrel", meaning we always find some issue and more (we found it amusing anyway :roll: :) )

Heard the fail to plan, plan to fail and ASSUME one a fair bit too.
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by wendolene26 » Mon Sep 05, 2016 9:10 am

abarnett wrote:There's no "i" in team.

There are, however, 5 in "individual brilliance"

8)
the one I always heard was "There's no "I" in team, but there's a "ME" if you look hard enough......
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by AMC1 » Mon Sep 05, 2016 2:54 pm

"rob Peter to pay Paul" was always a favorite in my nightshift job many moons ago, aiming to get the workers to work faster and not necessarily smarter or safer, wasn't a great idea for tired nightshift drivers.

There were so many sayings this particular manager would have rhymed off during briefings that the staff would count score of the many varieties there were. :lol:

(I spent most of my shift wondering who Peter was and why I'd bribe Paul poor fellow)
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by NGC » Wed Sep 07, 2016 4:31 pm

Another couple of belters:

"Limited bandwidth" which is the corporate equivalent of - Im too busy to help you

And possibly most annoying phrase (and quite a new one...) "Fuddle" which i am let to believe means an informal meeting with finger food (now your talking)
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by AMC1 » Wed Sep 07, 2016 5:45 pm

Another good one is "First things first"...indeed :roll:
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by wendolene26 » Wed Sep 07, 2016 9:01 pm

The early bird gets the worm........ but the 2nd mouse gets the cheese :lol:
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by jonsi » Thu Sep 08, 2016 8:13 am

My first ever boss often used to say "I see it all now ...some of it!"
.
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by Alexis » Thu Sep 08, 2016 12:24 pm

The worst modern one for me is "Going forward". I hate it! Did we all go backwards in the past? :roll:
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by AMC1 » Thu Sep 08, 2016 12:29 pm

Alexis wrote:The worst modern one for me is "Going forward". I hate it! Did we all go backwards in the past? :roll:
I love this one too, usually accompanied by "a big push" going forward, and as you say there we were small pulling backwards :lol:
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by MrsMuppet » Fri Sep 09, 2016 9:49 am

wendolene26 wrote:The early bird gets the worm........ but the 2nd mouse gets the cheese :lol:
Haha poor 1st mousey
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by Blackstone » Thu Sep 15, 2016 9:30 am

One my MD has used recently when talking about improvements.

"Its all just a Utopian Dream"

:lol: :lol:
'Train people well enough so they can leave, treat them well enough that they don't want to!' - Richard Branson

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