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Humerous Phrases...

Post your humorous risk assessments, health and safety jokes or funny stories of health and safety goings on in your part of the country. KEEP IT CLEAN PLEASE!

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MrsMuppet
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Humerous Phrases...

Post by MrsMuppet » Wed Aug 24, 2016 9:31 am

I am not a fan of buzz words/phrases like "think outside the box" - they just make me cringe....

However, going through a training session with the boss woman and at the end she says - "comply or die!" needless to say it made me chuckle!

Any one else have some funny phrases on the SHE front that I can add to my brain file :)
Never eat more than you can lift - Miss Piggy

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WillPool
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by WillPool » Wed Aug 24, 2016 9:41 am

Plenty from my army days but not all suitable for this forum ;)

An old sergeant major used to say if anyone complained, "we deal in warfare laddie not welfare"

I dont want it done now, I want it done RIGHT NOW

KISS (Keep it simple stupid)

I will come back with more when I have a bit more time ;)

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It is better to be careful 100 times than to get killed once.
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MrsMuppet
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by MrsMuppet » Wed Aug 24, 2016 10:56 am

I love the KISS hehe
Never eat more than you can lift - Miss Piggy

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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by AdyShaw » Wed Aug 24, 2016 11:16 am

Like Will says, plenty from army days.....but delicate ears and all that

always the 6 P's though (7 in the army)

Prior Planning & Preparation Prevents Poor Performance

Fail to Plan - Plan to Fail
Last edited by WillPool on Wed Aug 24, 2016 11:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Had to remove THAT word.
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by abarnett » Wed Aug 24, 2016 1:24 pm

"Silence is compliance" - very handy maxim for meetings.... :D
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by jonsi » Wed Aug 24, 2016 2:08 pm

"Silence is Golden ... but during an Audit it can be priceless"
"always tell the Regulator the Truth ...just don't tell them everything"
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by NGC » Wed Aug 24, 2016 9:38 pm

Some blue sky thinking for you... Team work makes the dream work.

One infuriating corporate phrase (not strictly hs) is "lets talk about it offline" grrr
Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's wall is ablaze.

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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by MrsMuppet » Thu Aug 25, 2016 9:46 am

NGC wrote:Some blue sky thinking for you... Team work makes the dream work.
I like that one!
abarnett wrote:"Silence is compliance"
I need to use this!! one old manager of mine had a red and yellow card system in meetings, he'd hold them up if you got side-tracked - very rude and infuriating :angryfire:
Never eat more than you can lift - Miss Piggy

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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by abarnett » Thu Aug 25, 2016 11:32 am

There's no "i" in team.

There are, however, 5 in "individual brilliance"

8)
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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by MrsMuppet » Thu Aug 25, 2016 2:36 pm

I also like ASSUME makes an ass out of U and ME :D
Never eat more than you can lift - Miss Piggy

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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by abarnett » Thu Aug 25, 2016 2:55 pm

on the acronym front there's always Poets day for as a euphemism for Fridays...

Poddle off early, tomorrow's Saturday.... (others may know a non forum-friendly version... :shock: )

also, just remember, the person complaining most about your organisation's IT system may have a PICNIC error. (Problem In Chair, Not In Computer)
Safety doesn't happen by accident

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Re: Humerous Phrases...

Post by Extankman » Thu Aug 25, 2016 3:38 pm

My personal favourite for a lot of things work related is -

"Only dead fish go with the flow!"

Suits loads of situations :)
Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid

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