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diet

Post your humorous risk assessments, health and safety jokes or funny stories of health and safety goings on in your part of the country. KEEP IT CLEAN PLEASE!

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Stoker

diet

Post by Stoker » Tue Aug 23, 2005 4:30 pm

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree Celsius.
Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.
For example, a dessert served and eaten near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg.F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalised.
Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories. Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat, the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal.
This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalising process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.
Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.
Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.
We should all be thin very soon if we adhere religiously to this pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.

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Alexis
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Post by Alexis » Tue Aug 23, 2005 4:39 pm

:prayer: Someone stop him please. :toimonster: :axe: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
"A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle."

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Stoker

Post by Stoker » Tue Aug 23, 2005 4:59 pm

I wanted to learn how to make ice-cream, so I started attending sundae school.

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Alexis
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Post by Alexis » Tue Aug 23, 2005 5:35 pm

Stoker wrote:I wanted to learn how to make ice-cream, so I started attending sundae school.
And "lo" it wasn't just the ice he made scream. :lol:
"A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle."

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RobB
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Post by RobB » Tue Aug 23, 2005 9:20 pm

Announcement to the world at large

Stoker has gone mad - its official.

The thing is he's taking us all with him.

I log on - I see a new post - I look at who posted it
- I see it's Stoker - I STILL OPEN IT - I GROAN -
I tell my wife - she thinks its me who's gone mad -
she files for divorce, gets the house and the kid
I have to live in a tent in the park -

AND IT'S ALL STOKERS FAULT
Confused most of the time


Stoker

Post by Stoker » Tue Aug 23, 2005 9:29 pm

Stoker has gone mad - its official.
does that mean i can be a proffesor :lol:

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YoungNick
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Re: diet

Post by YoungNick » Wed Jan 15, 2014 5:59 pm

I was searching old thread to look for some help for the NDip - Stumbled across this and its lightened my mood for sure! ;)
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

A big thank you to all the members here at HSfB.

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Alexis
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Re: diet

Post by Alexis » Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:38 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: Stoker can always lighten any mood with his "logic"?? :lol:
"A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle."

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YoungNick
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Re: diet

Post by YoungNick » Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:04 pm

Well by the looks off the missing avatar, and any other thing - he/ she defiantly is different via stealth mode hehe :lol: :lol:
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

A big thank you to all the members here at HSfB.

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