CV personal statements:

[safety33339999]

Hi, I am a 2024 Graduate looking to become a health and safety advisor primarily but also possibly a sustainability consultant, however i feel like opportunities as a consultant are low and never received updates for this role.

I adapt my personal statements depending on roles for pick up on the ATS system however I have two generic ones and would like a review on them

1.
Environmental Health graduate with hands-on experience in food safety, occupational health
& safety, and sustainability-related practices across both inspection and operational settings,
graduating with an Honours Bachelor's Degree in Environmental Health on October 29, 2024.

Assisted with food business inspections as a trainee Environmental Health Officer and
developed strong organizational skills through stock management and workflow coordination
in a high-volume retail warehouse as a Retail Assistant.

Acquired placement experience with a construction company gaining extended knowledge on
environmental safety and occupational safety. Conducted safety audits, risk assessments
and investigated incidents to ensure compliance within a residential project, contributing to
no lost-time accidents during my programme.

Confident at strategic planning, demonstrated through the successful development of risk
assessment drafts during my construction placement programme which resulted in no severe
documented incidents


2. A detail-oriented graduate with a strong foundation in Health and Safety Management and compliance,
complemented by analytical and problem-solving skills. Graduated with an Honours Bachelor's Degree in
Environmental Health on October 29, 2024, with experience conducting safety audits, drafting risk
assessment statements, and investigating incidents to ensure compliance within a residential project.

Acquired eight months of placement experience in a professional environment, gaining extended knowledge
of environmental and occupational safety with SISK GROUP.

Confident at strategic planning, demonstrated through the successful development of contingency plans at
university and risk mitigation proposals during my Construction Placement programme which resulted in no
severe documented incidents.

[WillPool]

Good Day

Welcome to the forums



Whilst I am not an HR or CV specialist I do feel that the statements are very bland and impersonal and doesnt really tell me much about what you learned during your placement. I would also take away words like extensive as (in my opinion) these allude to experienced professionals.

In addition to that getting into an HSE role is never easy. Search these forums and it will show you that junior/starting positions are quite hard to come by and consultancy roles even harder with little experience.

However all is not lost, try attending local branch meetings of IIRSM/IOSH/IEMA etc and let them know you are interested in roles and this will help your CPD and networking, secondly try doing some volunteer roles, always people wanting volunteers.

There are a lot of recruiters who will not even let you know why you didnt male the grade, did your CV make the filter etc……….

There are specialist HSE recruiters who can advise better but the above is just my opinion based on my experience.

Good Luck with your job search

Will

[witsd]

Not my area at all. Best I can do is highlight that you've used the US spelling of 'organizational' which to me gives a slight suggestion of not being brilliant at IT (i.e., the author might not know how to change to a UK spellchecker).

(I do appreciate that some style guides actually promote the "izes" and it may be a deliberate choice).

[safety33339999]

thank you for reply

[safety33339999]

thank you for reply Will

[The Instructor]

Lots of intensive paragraphs there..... try and get your CV on one page if you can.
And bullet points are always good, and precise.

Key Attributes:

• Keen eye for detail

• Confident planner

• Team work

• Degree level

You get the idea.....
The other thing is IMO dumb it down a bit..... its very wordy, and doesn't need to be..... it needs to be easy to read

[Alexis]

With regards to your other post (now removed for your own security) containing links to your CV, witsd has kindly replied as follows:

Firstly, the obfuscating scribble vanishes after a few seconds (on a desktop running Firefox browser), so your name is fully legible. You may wish to alter this!

Secondly, I can nit-pick the grammar, but otherwise I'm not much help to you. Here's what I noticed, and it is fairly pedantic stuff. Roughly in order:

palletized → palletised if you want to be using British English rather than American, although I'm not really sure palletised is a word!

site's → sites' (if talking about multiple sites).

3 → three (whole numbers over 10 should generally be written as numbers, nine or less being spelled out).

You use an Oxford comma in paragraph three, but then do not in paragraph eight. Either method is fine (though I hate them!), but be consistent.

utilized → utilised.

analyze → analyse.

Bulletpoint style changes abruptly for the last two paragraphs.

writing "to the best of my ability" actually minimises the achievement.

I hope that's some use, and that someone with a better eye for content is along shortly!