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Talking about Mental Health

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Jack Kane
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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by Jack Kane »

Thanks very much for sharing that CAD. People will be able to relate to it and it will help others open up a bit more or even intervene with somebody needing vital support.

I'm all for positive as well and I found a golden nugget of positive by chance today.

Yesterday and into today, I had a bit of a wobble and noticed some of my triggers were starting to bring me down. From the support I've had from the NHS I did recognise them, but even though I've learned loads from that support and about myself, it's still quite hard to turn that around at times.

I had a meeting to attend today and was dreading it because my head was like mince really. For some reason the meeting didn't go ahead and I bumped into a colleague who asked how I was. Back in the day, I would've answered 'no bad thanks', but these days I find it easy to say 'no very good today, I feel...'

That was it, we had a 'spare' hour, went for a cuppa and had a really good chat about stuff. It helped me massively. The fact I was asked with sincerity and somebody took the time to listen was just spot on. The thing that fascinates me is that I have great support around me, but for some reason I wasn't tapping into it today.

We were meant to chat today and I'm grateful for that.

It's not easy, but it's good to talk. .salut ./thumbsup..
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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by bernicarey »

Some really good stuff being brought out here.
My thanks to everyone who is sharing.
I've not got anything to share that is anything as health affecting as others have, but I can share a very small issue.

It's been 8 years since I retired from my RAF career of 37 years. But my subconscious mind still has problems with that separation from a large proportion of my lifespan.
Initially, it was almost every night, now only perhaps once a fortnight, but I have dreams which essentially all revolve around scenarios where I am still going to work at an 'RAF Job' at a location which bears similarities to ones I served at; but in every dream I know I've retired, but I'm basically going into work still, ignoring the fact that I shouldn't be there and concealing my retirement from the characters I encounter. The dreams are always quite short and result in me waking up; consequently, some nights my sleep is broken several times.
I was fortunate enough to never be at the front line of any conflict during my career, so I was never in a situation which might give rise to PTSD, so I am very grateful for that.
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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by AdyShaw »

bernicarey, glad I am not the only ex mil who has dreams on a nightly basis where you are in a position when you served. I left the army in December 12 after 26 years, and I guess like many others I thought I was great, no issues, life was just fine. Yeah, life in service was not always the bee's knees, but could always fall back on fellow mess members to help me forget the stress. Follow on from retirement and had 3 mental health relapses, the last one enabling a HUGE career change, and for the absolute best, working as I do on a farm raising cattle and sheep, one group of cattle I work with are cattle that are 8 month old, I have known them since they were 6 weeks old, and as I have been their main human they trust me totally. Anyway, November 2018, I had a HUGE realisation, and one that has had massive impact on my immediate family. My last episode of issues, happened on the 10 year anniversary of the first time I made an attempt to take my life. Was something I had shut away, never to be opened. I now look back, and realise that was not the only attempt I made, and hid, from my wife and children, but more so from myself. I am a typical person, imperfect in a imperfect world trying to prove I am perfect. Except I am not perfect, and I now know I am not a robot, and I am happily typing this with my back door open, listening to the sheep and lambs I have a care for. I hope everyone finds their own inner peace, and until then, my ear can be constantly be bent
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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by bernicarey »

Ady
.salut
a few weeks ago, I was in a twitter conversation with a retired copper who was getting 'flashback' dreams to random incidents and locations, all just typical dreamlike things.
It's like our minds are still processing the fact they we have suddenly left our 'vocational' careers of many years, whether we had a particularly stressful one or not.
My service career, simply by roll of the dice, put me in places where I wasn't directly involved in conflict 1st hand.
From the Falklands to Afghanistan, my individual contribution was always 2nd echelon, whether Trails work, aircraft modifications or in the case of Afghan 2001, I spent it in Oman supporting E3 AWACs operations.
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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by AdyShaw »

Berni,

Being a PONGO I could make remarks to hotels, however, it is good to know you brother .salut
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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by bernicarey »

AdyShaw wrote: Sat May 18, 2019 9:04 pm Berni,

Being a PONGO I could make remarks to hotels, however, it is good to know you brother .salut
;)
You too .salut
I never stayed in many hotels, but over my time spent a few years worth of it in air-conditioned cabins :lol:
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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by Keith1983 »

Right then..................... you lot asked for it lol!

The last year for me has been an absolute nightmare. To put it succinctly I have left two employers that were not bothered about putting lives at risk. One of which had two serious accidents that under very slightly different circumstances would have killed the IP's. The third essentially used me to get them through audits and then binned me off after telling me I wasn't meeting targets that had never been set, agreed upon or communicated and are still happy to operate with incredibly dangerous machinery still in operation despite being told numerous times by myself and my predecessor in the role. To top this off earlier this year my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. So overall I'll be pretty glad to see the back of 2019.

Fast forward to today and I have got myself a job in a small business who really care about employees and on a daily basis they go above and beyond in terms of safety and generally how they treat their employees, my wife has amazed me day after day with her determination to be positive about her illness and her treatment is going well with a positive prognosis going forward.

In the meantime I have really struggled with all of these challenges.

The role in which we had 2 serious accidents really tested my faith in whether or not H&S actually existed or if it was a career path that I drastically needed to get out of. I came very close to getting out of it. At the age of 35 I had what I believe was a panic attack. I was absolutely dreading every time my mobile rang that it would be the call to tell me someone had been seriously injured or worse. I attended one of the serious accidents as a first aider and I had an almost permanent state of panic as to what was going to happen next. The MD of that business blocked any attempt to improve things that involved more than issuing a new document. I was blocked from taking people off the shop floor for first aider training. I was told production equipment could not be stopped to carry out urgently needed maintenance which involved reinstating guards. I was barely sleeping at night and was physically exhausted as a result. My wife noticed I was not my normal self and she told me I needed to find another job as it weas not healthy to stay where I was. She was right and I knew it. I started looking for another job and in the meantime I submitted some evidence to the HSE after becoming convinced there was no alternative. The HSE visited and to my dismay were massively ineffective. despite me conveying my grave concerns and giving them more than enough evidence. On this occasion the HSE failed massively.

I found another job! I moved back into an industry I worked in before and had very positive previous experience in. Unfortunately this was a site with lots of ageing machinery, but the MD and my direct manager told me there would be time, money and commitment in bucketloads. I considered it a positive that they had already identified these issues and had a genuine belief that they meant what they said. Within a couple of months both my direct manager and the MD had left the business. There was a distinct and clear change of intent within the business and save money was the over riding aim. Any back up I had form my manager had vanished and the MD was now a guy with one very large mouth and seemingly no ears. They binned me off conveniently after an audit which by ensuring the auditor I knew what I was doing and was capable and experienced enough to deliver change, went fairly easy on us. So there I was with no job and feeling fairly discouraged with H&S in general.

Then came the hit that my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was back to having what I believe were panic attacks at night. I was unsurprisingly anxious about what the future held. This eased when my wife received a treatment plan and the consultant she was under was positive that treatment could be successful. Her treatment is ongoing and she has been incredible in terms of facing this with a positive attitude.

A coupel of months ago a friend of mine gave me a call and asked if I was actively looking for a new job. (I was as the bills needed paying!). He had recently joined a new business and they were looking for an H&S Professional. I went for an interview and was offered the role the same day. This is the business I have mentioned who when they say if we need it get it they mean it and look after their workforce and go above any beyond for them. I'm not really a superstitious person but maybe some things do happen for a reason!

In terms of dealing with all this, the quick answer is not very well. I naturally don't want to put my issues on to other people. I have to remind myself that by sharing with family and friends early on I'm actually potentially saving them from bigger issues later on. I haven't sought professional help but have promised myself that if I believe I have had another panic attack then I will. I have spoken to my parents, my sister and one particular friend of mine who has confided issues he has had in the past. We were fortunate to have had a decent chunk of money come our way in the form of life insurance for my wifes diagnosis which has helped take the pressure off financially. We are both now looking at all the positives we do have in our lives like our wonderful kids and friends and family that have been amazing in the support they have given. I have become better at (it's still a work in progress) accepting that everybody needs help from time to time!

This is the first time I've really shared most of this outside of a select number of people and have to say typing it all out has been an interesting experience.
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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by Keith1983 »

safetyninja wrote: Wed Nov 15, 2017 11:34 pm If anybody on here would like to improve knowledge on Mental Health Selby College Run a free distance learning NCFE Level 2 accredited certificate in mental health ../.
any chance of a link to this please?
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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by bernicarey »

That's quite a tale you've related Keith. I hope you feel a little better having shared it.
clapclap
Please pass my best wishes to your wife.

Here's a link to the Selby Course. https://selby.ac.uk/employer-skills/cou ... awareness/


Worth mentioning that if anyone in the East Midlands region is looking for a course at their place of work, I can provide OfQual regulated Level 1, 2 and 3 courses in "First Aid for Mental Health". Drop me a PM if you would like more info.
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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by Keith1983 »

Cheers Berni,
This thread has been great in helping me realise how many others face challenges with mental health too and that can only encourage others to realise there is no shame in looking for support.

I now massively admire those who face these challenges and that it is no different to a physical issue. Everyone realises that leaving a physical condition and ignoring it will only lead to it getting worse and its the same with mental health.
So when the whole world is safe..............what are we going to do then?
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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by Alexis »

Keith1983 wrote: Thu Dec 12, 2019 10:52 am Cheers Berni,
This thread has been great in helping me realise how many others face challenges with mental health too and that can only encourage others to realise there is no shame in looking for support.

I now massively admire those who face these challenges and that it is no different to a physical issue. Everyone realises that leaving a physical condition and ignoring it will only lead to it getting worse and its the same with mental health.
Well done on putting this out there Keith. clapclap

Sending lots of sincere good wishes to your lovely Wife also. clapclap

I would just ask you to please go to your GP anyway, even before you have another attack. I say this, because recently a very close family member, like yourself, saw the signs of potentially needing assistance from his GP and waited (as you mention doing). He is now in very slow recovery, but looking back (almost to a year ago), he wishes he had asked for help much earlier.
"A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle."

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Re: Talking about Mental Health

Post by Keith1983 »

Alexis wrote: Thu Dec 12, 2019 11:38 am
Keith1983 wrote: Thu Dec 12, 2019 10:52 am
I would just ask you to please go to your GP anyway, even before you have another attack. I say this, because recently a very close family member, like yourself, saw the signs of potentially needing assistance from his GP and waited (as you mention doing). He is now in very slow recovery, but looking back (almost to a year ago), he wishes he had asked for help much earlier.

You are absolutely right. Things are good and I know this sounds like a cliche but there are mostly good days with the odd interesting day thrown in at the moment. Thank you for the kind wishes for wifey.
So when the whole world is safe..............what are we going to do then?
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